The Power of Clothing and Women

I came across this mini movie which was awarded the "Best Director" title at the Sundance Festival in 2012.  Directed by Ava Duvernay, this short film for the Fashion Brand MIU MIU, is part of the brand's "The women's Tales" Series and in sum depicts  the link between fashion and women's lives.


"Clothing is also a symbol of renewal, each change of costume charting our heroine's emergence from a chrysalis of sadness. In the final scenes, she takes off her ring, pulls on long, black leather gloves, and walks, transformed by the emotive power of the clothing, through the door"

  "The Door" stars: Gabrielle Union, Alfre Woodard, Emayatzy Corinealdi, Adepero Oduye and singer-songwriter Goapele.

Also, the door in the film represents a pathway to who we are.

Personally, I am already inspired by the decor, the fashion etc..awesome stuff this is.

Currently in my reading list...

"The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more you learn , the more places you will go" Dr Seuss.

Coming up soon : A review and summary  for the Female Brain by Louann Brizendine M.D

Love,

Ness xx

New to Blogging

Hey,

I just thought I would write up a little something even though I have been somewhat busy lately. I'm sure you have noticed the changes; but when I look back on what I posted before I notice that I still have a lot to learn about this blogging business :) Thankfully, there are many places on the internet where you can find some tips and advice on blogging "the dos and don'ts"

Here are a few things I would like to improve on:

• writing in a way that is makes the reader relate to what I am blogging about
• On better design for pictures that are to be used as headers for my posts
• Font choices; as I tend to use a lot and makes it look awkward

And that should be all for now :)

I know I am behind schedule on posting but with all the moving around I could not find the time. Not to worry I am back now so lets roll!!

Peace xx

Ness

The Male Brain Summary/Review

"THE MALE BRAIN" By Louann Brizendine,MD

Main Chapters: 

The Boy Brain

The Teen Boy Brain

The Mating Brain: Love and Lust

The Brain below the belt

The Daddy Brain

Manhood: The emotional lives of Men

The Mature Male Brain

The Future of the Male Brain

 I will be writing a brief summary of Chapter 3: The Mating Brain 

Men trigger their brain to focus of certain 'parts' of a female's body- this should occur when men are interested in the female in question where they focus their attention on  females that would appear fertile to them.In fact, research showed that, the hourglass figure is very popular with men. This because it consists of large breasts, small waist, flat stomach, full hips- and this across all cultures.

Men seem to have one track minds -However , that is not the really case when looking for a mate. Also, all men give similar flirtation cues which are most of the time displayed through non verbal communication. Men tend to act confident most of the time they meet a girl for the first time. This because they may feel nervous about the girl's response to their approach. It was reported that men think that women expect flattery from them which explains them wanting to meet that expectation through flirtatious exaggerations for example ; as soon as they feel comfortable with the lady in front of them.

Men may categorize women in terms of the sound of their voices- A woman with a high pitched voice is considered hot and sexy or more sexually attractive and the women with a lower voice may be ranked as more of a friend.

Kissing in the Mating Game- a kiss is considered more than a kiss-its a taste test. That is; a sour kiss may turn into a deal breaker and a sweet kiss into more kissing. Once they have kissed a woman, Men tend to crave more of her. So much so that they want to have sex with her as soon as possible. This is what generally happens when a man is sexually attracted to a woman.For men,waiting a week or more seems like a lot of time . Yet, it is the opposite with women ( or some women). Therefore, when a woman waits it may be an indication to a man that it might be a long-term mating situation- which is reassuring

Sex comes first for most men-Unconsciously, Women may tend to look for a man who is more of a provider and protector. Whereas men would know that the more women they get involved with, the more children they are likely to have. One tip- to eliminate the pressure for sex women tend to let the men spend on them , treat them like a queen.Also, taking the woman to a social event you are involved in so as to show your dominance and strength attributes may impress her.

Human and animals: possible similarities in mating strategies

Is there a Monogamy Hormone?

It is reported in a study in Sweden that men with the long version of vasopressin receptor gene where most likely to leave bachelorhood behind and commit. Also this could be applied to fidelity.

What about bachelors? those men who claim to be masters of seduction ( which i call manipulation). They usually have well rehearsed lines and aim to score sexual points. In this sense, deception is a great tool used by men when it comes to short-term partners. This implies, using deception at any cost in order to have women sleep with them. Some men could exaggerate their wealth, status, business and social connections. For instance, income and financial prospects.Moreover, bachelors tend to brag more over their latest conquests.

To be clear, both men and women Do manipulate in the mating game. According to the book, men are more comfortable at verbal deception. In that, they are more convincing due to the less electrical strain showed when they lied.

 When does she know He's in love?

Just so you get it straight: Sex does not necessarily lead to love but for the male brain it is a necessary part in getting there. Sex produces chemicals that generate a blissful euphoria which is similar to being high on cocaine. Primitive biological craving would occur if  the mate is away from his woman. This means, when examined a man who is falling in love produces substantial amounts of dopamine in his VTA area. Basically, a man's lust and love circuits merge to create a head over heels in love feeling when focusing on one woman only.One point to make is that, when we women notice that men look at most girls that pass by it could be because of their sex-circuits board, which lights up each time they see a woman ( attractive to them). Luckily this is just a temporary effect on their brain, which is why men think it is not a big Deal-translation: no need to feel threatened. But wait wait... Until the tables are turned.... ( haha)

Men who Mate Poach: A double Win

In general, this process means that they beat the guy and get their girl. This is a case of rivalry between males where they fight for the attention of one woman. Consequently, the feelings of rage and jealousy can intensify one man's feelings of love ( but no need to intentionally make him jealous). These feelings occur when one has a fear of rejection or loss. It may lead man to show his possessive and territorial traits. These could lead to commitment on his side. 

To find out more , please visit the amazon book store or your nearest bookstore.

Love,

Ness xx

COMING Soon......

 

Hello Guys!! Yes it has been a while.Yet, I have been pondering about different themes to blog about in my mind.Also, I must admit I will be posting sparingly as there are going to be some few changes to the Blog which you will notice hopefully soon!! But yeah.. talk about ExcItEd!!

Right, lets get down to Business: Book Reviews Coming Soon:

The Brain Series: Part 1

And More Reviews plus Opinions:

And More to Come :)

Love and Light x

Ness

What would you do without a GIRL- FRIEND??

So lets talk Friendship Business Okay ?! because I can sense as I grow further into Adulthood how friendships can change; but also their importance in our lives in general. Nevertheless, living in a much more digitized world could make it hard or even confusing to understand friendships as a whole

According to Encyclopedia.com (2012), Friendship is a relationship  made up of broad, ambiguous or shifting borders.Moreover, the term friend and friendship means different things to different people at a different time. This suggests that, friendship could be looked at just like would intimate relationships. Also, some people are blessed with great friendships starting from elementary,primary, secondary leading to higher education. This is a Gift for some people because not everyone can enjoy that luxury of long-term friends.

Nowadays,most women are known to be notorious to other women  they may encounter in society, politics,in the workplace, at home etc. In fact, an article in thedailyfemme(2012) states that women could be described as misogynists themselves with the example of the Salem witch trials. Furthermore, these trials occurred between 1692 to 1693 in Massachussets , USA  where three women were brought to court as they were being accused of practicing some sort of witchcraft at the time. Of the two women that pleaded innocent, the third woman claimed that she was guilty of being influenced by "bad spirits" and suggested that other women practiced as well as she did. Unfortunately, this confession led to all three women  being thrown in jail. (smithsonianmag, 2007)Subsequently, it caused a lot of controversy with people believing that any other women could be influenced as well.

This goes to show that,  women sometimes do try to put other women down. The question remains why do they behave in this manner? could it be to exercise power over other women? It could be  for many reasons.

Subsequently, the term friendship is referred as a relationship where both partners  express individualized interest, concern, commitment. Also, friends commit by giving themselves the time in absence of constraints toward interaction that are external to the relationship itself. Finally, the more these factors are expressed the stronger the friendship. ( Encyclopedia.com, 2012)

When it comes to women vs men in terms of friendships , it is clear that there are some gender differences:

 The table above shows that friendships between Women are not praised in society, they have a bad reputation. On the other hand, Men are praised for their ability to be unselfish and their willingness to sacrifice themselves in the name of friendship.

My experience with friendship: it has been overwhelming throughout my life stages. However, I understood that they played a role into making me the person I am today . I grew up as the only girl with three brothers and never really experienced the "dark side" of friendships until I made friends with other women. The more I looked into it the more I realized that it also had something to do with me and that i had to look at myself first before looking at them. Still I'm glad i do not have a sister  ( no offense to those who do) simply because I have more fun with my brothers. I have had some okay experiences with women but I do not envy those with sisters. I simply do not.                 

I recently came across a teaching  by Iyanla Vanzant from the Oprah's lifeclass, on relationships with women, especially those involving a lot of cattiness, competition etc. whatever you may call it. This makes me think there hope for us women :), particularly those who believe it is acceptable to behave in a rather Repulsive manner or worse! These few tips from Iyanla Vanzant make it clear for us who may be confused about where the misbehavior of certain women may stem from:

http://www.oprah.com/oprahs-lifeclass/Oprah-and-Iyanla-Vanzant-Terrible-Things-Women-Do-to-Each-Other

5 Reasons women lie to each other:

• Fear of losing Love & Respect
• Fear of Hurting, Upsetting a& Disappointing
• To Cover Issues of self worth
• When we feel threatened
• To be polite

" Gossip is when you have a malice of intent or mindless, third-party conversation to someone about someone, something you haven't said to that someone".

When women Gossip  ( and I am guilty of this one ha!) Its self hexing. Because when you do it, it comes back to you.

On why women Gossip :

• To get power
• Its an acceptable practice
• We don't recognize the power of the spoken word
• It diverts attention to our own issues

  "This is the truth about self-hatred. Truly successful, powerful people want other people to be empowered. Truly successful people want you to be empowered because they want you to feel the light they are feeling."

Why women Betray each other:

1) Self Hatred
2) We do not honor our relationships
3)We seek external validation
4)We do not Honor ourselves
5)We mimic what we have seen
6) We hold unrealistic demands

These are just some notes from my watching that episode and you too can watch ( see website link above) and maybe you can learn & grow from it as well.

To conclude, you may want to ask yourself this question as a woman: How can I shift my behavior in order to create CONSTRUCTIVE, POSITIVE, VALUABLE RELATIONSHIPS with other women?

 Love,

Ness

Birthday Month! Few Things I learned on the way

Go Shorty its your Birthday, We gonna party like its your Birthday....So Here it is , so far as i know I am very close to my late 20s and it has been an interesting ride. I would like to take this opportunity to look at myself and say Well done gurl you are still Alive!! Thank God for that! Also, I would like to mention the lessons that I learned through my journey until this day and that I will carry with all my life. This simply because, "thinking about your life and sorting what you have learned is just as important as tackling a new venture.." MarcandAngel (2012)

Things I learned that Matter:

Time heals All wounds, regardless of what I may feel at  present.
Uncertainty is caused by lack of knowledge, Hesitation is the product of Fear.
Health Is My Life.
Bad Things do happen to Good people.
Money makes life easier only when Money is Yours free and Clear.
Carelessness is the Root of failure
Purposely Ignoring the Obvious is like walking towards the enemy.
If I never Act I will never Know for sure.
Personal Glory will last forever.
People deserve a second chance not a third. 
Stepping out of my Comfort Zone will put things into perspective from an angle I couldn't grasp before

Other Things not to forget :

Love is not about Looks but about time,trust and Interest.
Greed will bury even the lucky eventually
Chance is a gift, so act on chance when given the opportunity.
Kindness and Hardwork will take you further than intellingence.
Marry your BestFriend ( lol)
Take lots of Pictures; Someday I'll be glad i did !  
My actions now will create memories that i will reminisce and talk about
 in my elder years


I think thats It!! and again I am Gratefull for the Ups and Downs and the lessons as well as My family and Close friends ;especially those who never left.

LoveandLight xx

  

5 goal1week-Professional Goal:Young,Hustling and Fabulous

Day 5: Professional goal

Career goals are important because they act as a destination for your career. For instance, if you were to drive to a specific location; you would get nowhere without a map or an address wouldn't you? Without those tools you would just drive off in circles and come back to point A :(

Career Goal addresses the location you are heading to. Without a Career goal you would probably feel like you are bored and disengaged in life or even better, "Something would be Missing "

Benefits of setting Career Goals:

• Knowing where your efforts should be focused upon
• Easily notice the distractions that may deter you from achieving a specific goal 

• Motivated to do more and more, building self confidence as you get comfortable setting and achieving your goals  

There are Two Types of  General Goals that  can be set: Long term and Short term goals. I shall write up a later article about long term goals and short term goals. First,  lets take a look at a few bits of an awesome article by Marc and Angel : 12 Things Successful People do differently.

According to this principle,successful people are objective.  They have realistic targets in mind.  They know what they are looking for and why they are fighting for. In other words SMART Goals Are Defined as: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Timely.

For more details: visit www.Marcandangel.com 

Love and Light xx