So this is it, The Female Brain by Louann Brizendine. These books ( Female Brain and male Brain are mainly based on scientific studies and draws up conclusions based on results obtained from the studies. The author also provides fictitious examples to illustrate her points as well as from her own experience which makes the book easier to read.
The book consists of the following chapters:
The Birth of the Female Brain
Teen Girl Brain
Love and Trust -Chapter Summary
Sex: the Brain below the belt
The Mommy Brain
Emotion: The feeling Brain
The Mature Female Brain
The Future of the Female Brain
What Makes Us Women-The developments in brain science has allowed researchers or scientists to gather an amazing plethora of information on the structure, chemical, genetic, hormonal and functional brain differences between men and women.
- Differences in brain sensitivities to Stress and Conflict
- Men and women use different brain areas and circuits to Solve Problems, Process Language, Experience and store the Same Strong Emotion
- Men and Women process Stimuli, Hear , See, "Sense" and measure what others and feeling in different ways
Biology does represent the foundation of our personalities and behavioral tendencies.Therefore, the need to acknowledge how other factors may be influenced by other factors- mentioned in the book.However, Biology does not restrain our reality from happening.
We , as human beings are capable to change our reality and use our intelligence and determination to celebrate and when necessary, change the effects of hormones on our brain structure, reality, behavior, creativity and destiny.
Chapter Summary: Love and Trust
Men and Women process initial romance calculations unconsciously but differently. For Short-term romance; men tend to be chasers and women choosers.
According to Darwin, males of all species were made for wooing ( courting,soliciting) females.On the other hand females were made for choosing among their suitors. ( Brizendine,2006)
Apparently, in the course of our evolution as species our brains have already been encoded to learn how to spot the healthiest males, the most likely to give us children and those whose resources and commitment can help our offspring survive.
In this sense, once the female brain sizes up a potential partner( even if we did not intend to) and if the profile fits our ancestral wish list, we get a jolt of chemicals that dizzy us with a rush of laser-focused attraction. That could be called the infatuation stage, opening the gates to the courtship-mating-parenting brain program.
And again, even when we do not intend to meet anyone, our brain however may have other deep and primitive plans.
Thus, when a woman meets a man or potential mate, she may get a signal in her brain of mating and long term attachment. At this stage women may get even luckier if that so called potential mate's brain feels the same way.
The fact that our mental instincts have not changed in millions of years may explain why women , worldwide may seek for similar qualities in a long-term mate. women tend to be less concerned with visual appeal and more interested in his material resources and social status. Females, it seems may look for a man ( ideally) who is at least four feet taller and three years and a half older. According to researcher, choosing mates based on those attributes is likely to be a savvy investment strategy.
Another point on women being careful with their " female jewels" states that since they have a limited number of eggs, they are invested more in bearing and raising children than men do.
This means, not jumping in the bed the first night -haha
Single-Motherhood although fashionable these days, is viewed as a challenging stage in a woman's life and females who face these difficulties may be less successful in propagating their genes. ( Brizendine,2006)
Thus, the presence of a father triples the children's survival rate. As a result,the safest bet would be for women to partner with a man who will stick around , protect them, their children and improve their access to food and shelter and other resources.
So women should take their time in assuring themselves that the potential mate is a good catch ( by observing the signs of your intuition)
Calculating Potential Danger- women are likely to give early, careful scrutiny to a man's likely level of commitment when looking for a mate.Seduction and abandonment by males is an old ruse-a females brain is now well adapted to the task of spotting lies and exaggerations by men, especially in their adult life stage. For this reason, women are slower at admitting or confessing they are in love and are more careful than males in the beginning-weeks and months- of a relationship.
Women brains in love tend to use-gut feelings , attention, memory circuits whereas men in love show more activity in the visual processing areas- this explain why men are more likely to fall in love at "first sight " than women would.
Once a person is in love, the cautious, critical thinking pathways in the brain are shutdown. Throughout female evolution, this is characterized by focusing exclusively on that person, not focusing too much on the beloved's faults Also, women tend to get more passionate than men do.
Falling in love is one of the most irrational behaviors or brain states imaginable to men and women. The brain becomes "Illogical" in new romance mainly by being literally blind to the shortcomings of the other.- It is an involuntary state.Moreover,the stage of passionately in love or infatuation is called the documented brain state: this is characterized by states of obsession,mania, intoxication, thirst and hunger. Infatuation is not an emotion but what it does is intensify or decrease other emotions.
The brain circuits that are activated when we are in love are similar to those of a drug addict desperately craving the next fix.
In fact, the Amygdala- the brain's fear alert system- and the Anterior cingulate cortex-the worrying and critical thinking system - are turned way down when the love circuits are running in full blast. This could be compared to the state of individuals who take Ecstasy. Romantic love can therefore be called the natural Ecstasy high. This because, classic symptoms of early in love are similar to the initial effect of drugs such as amphetamine,cocaine,heroin, morphyn and Oxcycontin.
It could be true to say that some people can become addicted to love. In romantic love, especially the first six months, there is a crave for the ecstatic feeling of being together and the need to become helplessly dependent on the each other.
Moreover, activities such as caressing, kissing,gazing , hugging and orgasm can replenish the chemical bond of love and trust in the brain.
This explains why mothers try to tell their daughters not to get too close too soon with a new boyfriend, and this advice may be wiser than we realize.
For example, hugging or cuddling releases oxytocin in the brain. This chemical reaction may tend to produce trust in the hugger or cuddler.Also, it increases the likelihood of believing anything or everything a man or potential mate tells you.
So ladies don't let a guy hug ( especially a new boyfriend) you unless you plan to trust him.
In conclusion, this book is useful for women who would like to understand themselves and what they may go through at different stage of their life. Also, it helps men to understand women about those aspects that were maybe not clear to them.
*To find out more, you know what to do :).
Any comments? please feel free and I will respond accordingly.
And a little quote to inspire you ladies:
On that note,
Peace and love,
Ness x
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